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Sexy Shopping in Vienna

Promoting a sex shop may seem a bit off topic, but actually it is not. Not in this case. The shop I want to introduce to you, is completely focussed on female sexuality: what she wants, what she desires, what pleases her. It is a shop with a philosophy, and therefore it fits to the purpose of this blog.

I have not been in many sex shops. Most of them make a grubby impression on me and seem to be meant for obscure male customers only. In my home town The Hague, Christine Le Duc is a well-known sexshop with a more friendly appearance. But I still consider it a man-orientated and cheap-ish shop. In Vienna there are a few shops that have a nice atmosphere. You would not be too embarrassed bumping into a friend or colleague there. But the shop I have discovered a few days ago, is nothing I have seen before, and the best place to have your first sexy shopping experience.

Liebenswert, meaning something like adorable or lovable, is an erotics shop for women and those who love women. The shop is situated in a side street of the Mariahilferstraße, one of Vienna's bigger shopping streets, and offers not only a broad collection of tasteful lingery, (design) sex toys and other products that can make our sex lives more interesting and intense, but also thorough and professional consultation, monthly workshops and exhibitions. It is a place I could hang around for hours, feeling completely comfortable with the dozens of dildo's and vibrators around me, and spend a lot of money too.

The best part about Liebenswert is the philosophy behind it: the importance of an enjoyable and pleasurable sex life. Good sex improves the quality of our lives, in every aspect. What makes me even more enthusiastic though, is the fact that the shop focusses on women. The whole sex industry, from sex shops to clubs to porn, is mostly based on the needs and desires of men. Since the nineties women are starting to take their rightful place in this territory, slowly moving things in a more equal and pleasurable direction for both sexes. Liebenswert is the perfect example for this positive and necessary development.

Inactivity on Naked Men, Happy Women

For the last few weeks, I have not been very active on either one of my blogs. My excuse: I have been busy at work, and in my spare time with writing my first book. I will come back with new/more topics in the near future though, so don't give up on me just yet :)

Thank you,
Gabi

Book review: Charlotte Roche's 'Feuchtgebiete'

If I would have to say something about this book in only one sentence, it would be 'refreshing, funny and a bit disgusting, with a disappointing ending'.

The protagonist of Charlotte Roche's first novel 'Feuchtgebiete', which could be translated into moist, soft, or sweaty parts/areas, is an 18 year old girl called Helen, who is in the hospital waiting for an operation. The story is written from her perspective, showing the reader her every thought on many aspects in a (young) women's life.
At first I was very enthusiastic about this book; the way Roche is handling topics like sexuality, the female body, society's obesession with hygiene and the way it dictates our appearances, is honest, funny and refreshing. Helen's sexual experiences and how the author is describing them, actually reminded me of novels written by Dutch male authors from the fifties/sixties/seventies, like Jan Wolkers, Remco Campert and Jan Cremer; it's open, naughty (or dirty if you like), and somehow raw and manly, like from a male's point of view. I like it, especially because it shows the reader that female sexuality, essentially, is not about candlelight dinner and romantic chit chat. Helen is a horny girl who goes straight after what and who she wants, who masturbates whenever she feels like it, exploring new sexual possibilities, and most importantly: who is not ashamed of it. She is proud of how she handles herself sexually, which makes her a good role model for girls and women in our current society.

The disappointment concerning this book is the second story that is woven into it: the story of Helen's divorced parents, who she wants to bring back together at almost all costs. To me it seems like an attempt to give the novel more depth; maybe to provide a psychological explanation for Helen's sexual behaviour, or to give the book the 'feel' of literature. It does not work though. It probably would have if the author had gone deeper, explaining more about what had happened between the parents and the consequences of their actions on Helen's upbringing and psychological development. Now this part of the novel is floating on the surface, leaving the reader with a lose end. That, in my opinion, also explains the poor ending of the book. It feels like Roche had no clue anymore and just wrote something to get it over with. She either should have written more about Helen's background or leave the whole family story out, concentrating mainly on Helen as a young woman dealing with the (sexual) taboos of modern society, the second option being my preference.

Jungsheft fuer Maedchen/Boys magazine for Girls, a review

On the 27th of March, the German-French TV channel 'ARTE' broadcasted a Danish production about women and pornography, "Die Pornografinnen". The porn business has been controlled by men, and focussed on their desires, for many years. Nowadays, more and more women start to get active in this field, producing porn movies and magazines, creating pornographic art and writing pornographic literature, not only to express their sexual fantasies and desires, c.q. showing pornography from a female perspective, but also to show we women can handle and like pornography just as well as men.

In this documentary, various women who are active in the world of porn, like producers, actresses and publishers, are being interviewed. Two women, Elke Kuhlen and Nicole Rüdiger, are the publishers of a German porn magazine for girls called "Jungsheft, Porno fuer Maedchen". My curiosity was triggered, so I ordered a copy to see what it is all about.

The magazine looks very stylish and contains fun and interesting articles about various topics, interviews, columns and of course photos of 'Lecker Jungs', meaning 'jummy guys': naked, with and without erection. Because erections are shown, according to German law the magazine has to be called a porn magazine for 18+. In my opinion though, the pictures are quite innocent. Yes, you see an erect penis, but nothing more: no pictures of men ejaculating or having sex. Therefore, the photos are not sexually stimulating, at least not to me.

What I like about the images, is that they show different types of regular guys; attractive, but not crazy muscular or with huge cocks. He could be the guy next door, someone you meet when you go out, or a colleague from work you have a crush on. They look natural, which make the photos look honest and real. And very important: the photos do not have an obvious homosexual air to them, although I am pretty sure the guys being portrayed can also be attractive to look at for gay men.

I think this magazine is perfect for girls/young women who want to see normal, honest pictures of naked guys, and who want to read about topics like sex toys or sexual prejudices/misunderstandings, that unfortunately are still present in our society. I would definitely give it to my daughter to read! So thumbs up ladies in Germany!

Ofcourse there is also a version for guys called "Giddyheft, Porno fuer Jungs".
For more information about the publishers and ordering: click on the link in the right side bar under 'Interesting websites'.

The Search for Cock

Just go for a walk through town and look at the advertisements on billboards, in bus stops, anywhere. Count how often you see a picture of an almost naked man, and compare it with the ammount of advertisements with images of half naked women. If you even you see one, isn't the image of the male body less explicit or partially hidden?

Now switch on the TV and zap a bit: almost or totally naked women are common to see, even in commercials. You get time to watch them too. The man's naked body on the other hand, if you are lucky to spot one, is usually limited to everything above the waist. If his ass is shown, you maybe have a full second (woah!) to look at it. And legs are not shown that often either. Not to mention the cock of course. In computer games it is the same story.

Let's take a love scene from any regular movie: how often isn't there a bed sheet lying over the male's buttocks, while the woman's breasts, ass and vagina are shown without any covering? In the article 'Male frontal nudity in the movies uncovers an old debate' in USA Today, the writers say: "While penises are not yet as prevalent as female breasts, they are becoming more accepted". They mention a couple of movies in which the male actor is seen naked. I dare say the quantity of those scenes is a lot less in comparison with naked female scenes. And the time you get to watch and admire the actor's body, is less too. So unfair, don't you think?

In my opinion, our male-dominated society is the main reason why naked men are hardly shown 'out in the open'. In general, people seem to think the male body is shocking and pornographic. The female body on the other hand, is considered to be more aesthetic, sensual and elegant.
It is a matter of what we are used to: for centuries and centuries, women were described, painted, sculptured, and later photographed and filmed, mostly by male artists. Before the 20th century, female artists had a very hard time to get accepted and acknowledged. If they would have had equal chances back then, we probably would have seen the (naked) man as a subject in art a lot more. But even today, the explicit naked male body in art or film is seen as unconventional and provocative. Not to mention that there are quite some men who perceive it to be gay or a sign of weakness for a man to expose himself naked. Imagine: there are countries, also in Western society, where it is forbidden by law to show a fully erect cock on TV. Tits and pussies are perfectly normal though. Of course, the film industry is also dominated by men. No surprise here.

I sometimes catch myself thinking that by keeping their pants on, men subconsciously try to keep women under their thumb. It is a fact that women are not given equal chances, job positions or wages. We try to catch up though. Maybe that's why men don't show their goods, like saying: 'you can get my job and maybe, someday, even receive the same payment for it, but you won't get my cock'.

If we want this to change, we women have to be a lot more straightforward about our sexuality and what we want than we are today. Because no matter what people claim about the positive development of female sexuality and emancipation in the last couple of decades, people generally still think in the old fashioned way: a woman is not supposed to be sexually agressive or take initiative, because that makes her a whore. Women do not like porn, women do not masturbate, women do not fart or belch, etc., etc. Bla, bla, bla.

So let us finish what we have started, right here and now and say: we want to see more naked men! On billboards, in movies, on TV, in commercials, in games, everywhere. Men have beautiful, erotic bodies that appeal to us, fascinate us and turn us on. You get to see us; now we want our fair share!